Secrets
by Lonie
Summary: An indept look into the life of Daniel Jackson....
1. Episode One:: Innocence Lost

Secrets

Episode One:: Innocence Lost

Written by Lonie

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_Summary::_ Events chronicling Daniel's childhood years immediately following the death of his parents  
_Spoilers:: _ Gamekeeper  
_Category::_ Angst, Drama, some Humor, Hurt/Comfort  
_Warning::_ Character Death, Depicts Child and Alcohol Abuse, Language  
_Additional Warnings::_ The disturbing subject explored in this fic is abuse. Mainly child abuse. Don't worry, it's not done by his parents...sheesh....;-)) I chose this subject because I know of several people in my life who have had to endure it. In this fic, it's somewhat my way of dealing with it the best way I know how. Ya know, channeling that energy into something else....or something like that. There is also some mild profanity and scenes that may be disturbing to some. As well as innuendos to alcoholism. In no way, shape or form is the information within these pages true to the subject matter at hand or insinuating that certain situations go on within the military. As stated in my disclaimers below, these stories are works of fiction and are products of my warped imagination only. Nothing more, nothing less. Absolutely no money was earned nor distributed.  
_Series Timeline/Notes::_ Within 'Secrets', are seven (7) different episodes/fics that follow Daniel Jackson's infamous life from his childhood till present day. Well, more like a few events taking out and explored..;-))) Anyhoo, my time line is different. In the books, by the time Daniel was 21 years of age, he had his Masters in all of his fields. (Linguistics, Anthropology, Archaeology) Also, he graduated high school when was 16, I think. And according to other fics I've read, he was somewhere between 5 and 7 when he saw his parents die. In my fics, he is 9 years old when he sees his parents die. He is also moved up two grade levels because of his intelligence, that would put him in the 6th grade. According to USA schooling and common age grades. He actually graduates from high school at the age of 15, right before his sixteenth birthday which is in July which will result in him getting his Masters before he actually turns 21.

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"Danny?" Dr. Melburn Jackson called out to his son. "Would you tell your mother that there is nothing to worry about," he said amusingly. 

Nine year old Daniel Jackson pulled his attention away from his book he was reading with a look of pure confusion. "Huh?" 

"I'm afraid our son is too engrossed in your latest journal entry to even notice us," Daniel's mother said amusingly. She chuckled to herself as she watched Danny re-adjust his position on the floor against the wall and become deeply engrossed once more in her and her husbands latest discovery. 'After we finish with this exhibit,' she thought. 'We're headed back to Egypt.' 

Her attention was slowly drawn back to the huge slab of stone hovering over her and her husbands head. To her shock, they were lucky to have found this wonderful artifact buried beneath a dried tree stomp in an area designated to have no history of ever having had a civilization reside there. But then, once the stone was uncovered, they'd found an enormous amount of evidence to dispute that claim. They had discovered several life size monumental statues and building foundation structures buried in the surrounding area. To their surprise, they had mapped and concluded that a large rich city once stood there. The only problem, was that all of the names of the royal families that ruled the city had been scratched off. There was no way of telling who the people were or if any of the neighboring cities even heard of it or knew if it ever existed. Broken from her thoughts, she heard her husband giving instructions and saw him out the corner of her eyes waving his arms. She stared at the slab of stone and felt a sickening feeling deep within her. She watched it as it swung slightly from side to side as they attempted to adjust it properly. A loud explosive sneeze startled her out her reverie. 

******************************

"It's alright honey," Dr. Jackson said seeing his wife jump. "We're perfectly fine. Everything's okay," he assured her. Feeling his wife calm down a little, Dr. Jackson returned his attention to the stone above them. 

'These markings are beautiful. Unlike any kind I've seen before,' he thought to himself. 'And the city buried around it is massive,' he thought as he briefly instructed a crew member to move the stone a little to the right. 'I wonder if it could be related to the same discovery that scientist found not far from there in Giza? Let's see when was it...oh yes....1923. What was his name?' Dr. Jackson thoughts were momentarily interrupted. "No, no," he said waving his arms. "You're blocking off the most important part. Let's move the support beams a little further apart. We'll see if that works," he instructed.

******************************

Mrs. Clair Jackson let a small smile grace her face as she looked up to see Danny wiping his nose with a hankerchief with one hand and trying to steady his book with the other. All the while his glasses were being uncooperative and turning lopsided as he struggled to do both. She chuckled lightly and wondered what she was going to do with her son. Suddenly, the smile left, 'what would they do with him?' she thought to herself. She knew that Danny wouldn't be able to accompany them on their next trip to Egypt. They would definitely be gone for more than three months this time and they couldn't keep Danny out of school for that long. Sure he was as intelligent as his father and had already been moved up two grade levels without even attending classes. She sighed heavily to herself. It wasn't his academics that she was worried about. It was his childhood. 

She knew that her son didn't have many friends in his life. Mostly due to the constant travelling that they did. The few friends that he did have were more than four times his age and worked with them on their digs. She yearned for the day when her son would come running through the house with kids his own age trailing behind him. 'If they ever stayed long enough where that could happen,' she thought sarcastically. She stiffled a sharp startled gasp as she felt her husband tap her on the shoulder.

"Honey, you think we should move it a little to the left?" he asked as he stared up at the stone.

She looked up and studied it before answering, "Yes. It seems to be cutting off some of the heirglyphs on this side. Maybe about a half an inch."

Dr. Jackson began to relay his wife's instructions and placed a hand on her shoulder automatically. He could feel her tensing up again as the stone slab was lifted once more and swung slightly above them. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze as he continued to shout out instructions.

******************************

Young Daniel finally gave up trying to read and wipe his nose at the same time and carefully placed his fathers journal on the floor in front of him. He removed his glasses and finished wiping his nose. Placing his glasses back on, he looked up at his parents and let out a sigh of relief when he saw the huge heavy stone hovering above them finally stop moving and sit in place. He really didn't care for them having to stand directly up under the stone while it was being put into place. But he also knew, that position was the only one plausible in order to prompt it properly. With a frustrated sigh of releasing tension, young Daniel absently picked up his fathers journal. 

'What am I going to do?' he thought to himself as he stared at the pages without focusing on them. 'I know that they can't take me with them this time. Mom has told me too many times that she doesn't want me to stay out of school for that long.' He shifted his position on the floor slightly. 'Like it's really going to make a difference. I've already skipped two grade levels,' he thought sarcastically. 'Maybe if I learn as much of these ruins as I can before they leave, Dad can convince Mom that he needs me to help him out on some things,' he thought to himself as he let out a half laugh half sigh. 'Yeah right, Dad need 'my' help. That'll be the day.'

He knew that his dad didn't need his help on anything, but he also knew that his dad got a thrill out of discovering artifacts and sharing it with his entire family present. His dad wouldn't admit it, but little Danny had caught on to it long ago and used that well known fact to keep him on their digs. Plus, he really hated being left behind. The only friends that he had we're Miguel, Sarah, Amonti, and Jim and they were all apart of his parents crew. Granted they were all adults, but they seemed to be the only ones who understood him. And they didn't pick on him and call him names. 

Broken from his thoughts Daniel looked up and felt his nerves pulsate throughout his body as the huge stone slab was lifted once more into the air. He felt his stomach turn upside down as something about the way the stone swung caught his attention. He slowly stood up and dusted off his pants. Tilting his head slightly and furrowing his brow, he studied the stone.

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"Yes, a little more," Dr. Jackson yelled out. "Just a little more. Honey, how about there?" he asked as he stared up at the stone. 

Before his wife could answer, a loud snapping sound could be heard and the large stone came crashing down onto the supporting beams. The force of the impact caused the support beams to break and begin to tumble down on top of them. For a brief moment, Mrs. Jackson was able to lock eyes with her son Daniel, before the large stone came crashing down on top of them.

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Suddenly, the book Daniel was holding dropped to the ground and he felt his heart skip several beats. He saw the chain snap and the stone begin it's decent. He heard a voice echoeing about the museum and realized that the sound was him, who had called out a warning to his parents. Frozen in place, he looked on in pure horror as his eyes locked with his mothers. It felt as if time had slowed long enough for him to see the horror and utter fear in her eyes, quickly followed by looks of great sadness and apology. Suddenly, his mother's eyes were replaced by visions of broken stone fragments and rising dust clouds. 

Daniel wanted to scream, but he couldn't find his voice. He wanted to move and help the other people who were trying frantically to uncover his parents, but he couldn't move. He watched with unblinking eyes as people ran chaotically around him. He soon heard a shout from one of the people who was helping out and looked up to see a small hand covered in dark red blood and dust. Staring intently, he noticed the small twinkle of his mothers wedding ring as the ceiling light reflected off of it. Unconsciencely, he lifted his left arm and wrapped it around his stomach, grasping his shirt with a clenched fist. He stared as another piece of stone was moved out of the way to reveal his father's upper part of his body. Daniel felt his body shaking uncontrollably as he took in the sight of his father's appearance. He felt the biol beginning to make it's way up as he noted that the condition his father was in. It was clear that his neck was broken and.......Suddenly, Daniel turned to the side and began to vomit. He clenched his chest as he tried desperately to breathe between hurls as he began to feel hot tears stinging his cheeks. Once he was finished, he breathlessly fell against the wall and slowly slumped down to the floor completely exhausted as he plummetted into the comfort of the darkness awaiting him. 

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Two years later........................

Daniel sat staring out of the window as the car slowly came to a stop. 

"So, are you excited?" Dr. Marilyn Pacey asked as she began to drive again. 

Daniel sighed to himself before answering, "A little....I guess."

"Danny," Dr. Pacey said in a soft tone. "I know these last two years have been really hard on you. And I know that moving in and out of foster homes isn't helping any."

"No," he sighed interrupting her. "But I've gotten used to it."

She nodded her head and continued, "I know. But this family has expressed an interest in adopting you."

"So has every other home I've been to for the last year and a half," he stated sarcastically.

Dr. Pacey sighed silently to herself, "I know that dear. But they are really impressed with your academic achievements and are estounded to hear that you have college scouts already trying to recruit you at such a young age," she stated hoping she sounded more enthusiatic then she felt. 'Eight homes in the last three months,' she thought to herself. 'This has really got to be tearing him up inside.' 

"I think that things may be different this time Danny," she said. 

******************************

As Dr. Pacey continued to talk, Daniel's mind began to drift. 'Yeah, yeah, I know. They just want me around to gawk over the boy wonder until the thrill has gone and then kick me to the curb like the rest of them.' He turned to stare at the dash board in front of him. 'Once they learn about me seeing my parents die and that it took four months of psychological therapy to bring me back to reality, they get rid of me.' He laughed slightly to himself, 'I don't really blame them. I'd get rid of me too. Who wants a mentally disturbed genious running lose around the house.' Daniel was slowly brought out of his reverie when he noticed they had arrived at a gate. 

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"The Stuarts are a very loving young couple," she said reaching into her purse to pull out a card to hand to a gaurd. "Major Stuart...."

"Major?" Danny asked suprisingly.

"Yes.... Major Stuart," she confirmed as the gates opened for her to enter. 

"I didn't think the organization allowed military adoptions?"

"Not to those on active duty, no. One of the parents would be gone for extended periods of time. A quality that the organization is not very fond of. Major Stuart is no longer on active duty with the Air Force. He was caught in a freak accident in which caused him to have night blindness. He mainly does desk jobs now and some reserve flying in the day. But not enough to have him away for days on end. He has a younger brother that's a pilot as well that lives with them. I think that he decided to remain on the base to be closer to his brother. 

"Oh," he stated nervously as he took in the sight around him. 

"Here we are," Dr. Pacey said cheerfully, desperately trying to lift the young boy's spirits. She was falling apart inside. Too many times over the last two years had she given him this same speech. The people wanted him, up till they learn the truth of his misfortune. Either that or that he was too much of a genious that it scared them away. Oh how she wish she could take him into her own home and look after him. But the company wouldn't allow that. They couldn't risk the possibilities of something going wrong and having to start from scratch with a different social worker. She looked at Danny, "So?"

"So?" he repeated staring at a small one story house. There were two large windows on either side of the front door and a walk way splitting the front yard in half. To the right was a small drive way big enough for about two or three cars. Taking a deep shuddering breath, he nervously watched the window on the left side of the front door as someone peaked out. Shortly afterwards, a tall slender woman with shoulder length brunette hair stepped out of the house. She was wearing a navy blue pant suit with a cream colored blouse underneath. Quickly following her, a tall man stepped out. He was in his Air Force dress uniform.

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"All right Danny," Dr. Pacey said bringing him out of his reverie. "I know you're a bit nervous, but just remember everything that I told you O.K." 

He nodded absently still staring at the couple. 

"You have my home and work numbers in case you need to get in touch with me and my addresses in case you want to send me something right?"

"Yeah," he sighed out.

She placed a hand on his shoulder and prompted him to turn around and look at her. "Danny, don't worry. Everything is going to work out fine O.K." 

"Yeah," he sighed unconvincingly. He turned to look at the couple again when he heard the car doors unlock. He felt his nerves go haywire when he watched Dr. Pacey approach them and begin to talk to them. 'What if they don't want me?' he asked himself as he watched Major Stuart help Dr. Pacey unload his bags. 'What if they 'do' want me?' he asked himself as he watched Major Stuart come over to the car and squat in front of his side of the window. He gently tapped on the window and waited for Danny to roll it down. 

"Hi Danny," Major Stuart said with a warm smile on his face. He slowly took off his hat and raked a hand through his short blonde hair. 

"Hello."

"So, I hear you have an interest in Archaeology," he stated cheerfully studying the child before him. 

"Yes Sir."

"So do I. I mean, it's more so like a hobby to me," he stated and smiled as he noticed that he caught the boys full attention. "Yesterday, I got wind of some Minoan ruines that has just been discovered about two weeks ago. So far, only the scientist involved, the military, and government officials know of the discovery. I've got some photos if you want to see it?" he said patiently.

Danny studied him a bit before he nodded his head slowly and climbed out of the car. He reached back in and grabbed a medium size suitcase that seemed to be a little to heavy for him, but he managed. 

"Whatcha got there?" Major Stuart asked after Danny refused his help with the suitcase. 

"Just some books," he stated possessively.

Major Stuart nodded his head slightly, grabbed the other suitcases, and followed his wife, Dr. Pacey, and Danny into the house where a new life would begin.

******************************

'Today's the day,' Danny thought to himself as he rushed to get dressed. It's been eight months and things are going perfectly. Danny couldn't believe how much fun he was having being with the Stuarts. Dr. Pacey was right, they are a wonderful couple. They're different from everyone else. Instead of kicking him out because of his intelligence, they have been very supportive. They've invited several academic college scouts to meet with him and have permitted him to take just about every advance class his school has to offer. He's heard and seen pictures of more discoveries of ancient ruins in the past six months then he'd seen in his short life time. Not only that, but they actually talk to him and can understand him. He also learned that he and Major Sean Stuart have a lot more in common than just a love for archaeology. He doesn't feel like the outcast anymore. He's starting to feel like he's found a place he could call home. He turned around as he heard someone come into his room. 

"Hey DJ," Sean said cheerfully as he walked in and sat on Danny's bed. 

"Hey," he said smiling. "I know I'm running late, but I kind of lost track of time. I was studying the latest info on that Minoan site. I was relating it to the site they found in Egypt. Some of the markings seemed to be very similar."

Sean let out a hearty laugh, "Mary figured it was something like that which had your attention. After the seventh time we called for you, she decided to send me in here to make sure you weren't morphing into a book."

"Huh?" Danny said completely confused. 

Sean just shook his head smiling, "Never mind. I came to let you know that you've got an extra half hour before Ben gets here, so you can relax."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, his plane was slightly delayed."

"Uhm...O.K." Danny said sitting down next to Sean nervously twiddling his thumbs in his laps.

Sean studied him a bit before asking, "You all right?"

"What?"

"You seem a bit nervous," he said gently. "Wanna talk about it?"

Danny nibbled on his lower lip and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. "I...." he started nervously. "I'm just wondering what he's like." 

Sean knew that's not what the boy was going to say, but he let it slide. "Well, he's nothing like me," he said smiling. "Our parents used to say that we we're like oil and water. We could never see eye to eye on anything. And we constantly fought for their attention. Always in competition over any and everything. Until that day."

"The plane crash," Danny stated following his thoughts.

"Yeah. I don't know what happened. But after our parents died in that crash, things changed. Suddenly, instead of trying to beat the crap out of my little brother, I had to start taking care of him," he said with a thoughtful look on his face. "And the funny thing about it, is that he let me," he chuckled out. Taking a deep breath and placing his arm around Danny, he said, "Don't worry DJ. My brother may be a lot of things and we may fight constantly, but that doesn't mean that the two of you want hit it off. In fact, I think you'd be surprised how much you two have in common, not to mention that you two look alot alike," he said reassuringly. 

"Ya think so? I mean, that we'll hit it off?"

"Yes I do," he said patting him on his back. "I'm possitive of it. Now, when ya finish up here, Mary needs your help setting up the dinner table."

Danny looked at Sean suspiciously, "And what about you?"

"Uhm...well....I've gotta make a quick run somewhere."

"Ducking out on her again huh," Danny said amusingly. 

"No...who me....no way."

Danny titled his head to the side and stared at Sean.

"What?.....What?....O.K....O.K...I'm just not a house cleaning, table setting kind of guy O.K."

Danny just shook his head smiled at him.

Sean got up to leave and stopped at the door, "Oh yeah, if she asks where I went..."

"You had to run a quick errand and you'll be back in five."

"Yeah," he said smiling and leaving. 

Danny chuckled slightly to himself, finished getting dressed and headed towards the kitchen. 

******************************

Danny couldn't believe his life. Sean was right, him and Ben had hit it off big time. They had so much stuff in common that it was kind of scary. Danny had never met anyone, other than his father, who was able to follow his babble. Sean was good, but when his brain was working faster than his mouth, he usually left Sean behind still stuck on a thought he muttered aloud ten minutes ago. Not Ben though, Danny would switch up and Ben would be right there with him. And Sean wasn't lying when he said that they looked alike. Ben had deep blue eyes and blonde hair like him. The only difference was that he wore glasses and Ben didn't. Many of the Stuarts friends and colleagues kept saying that he could pass as Ben's little brother or son for that matter. Hearing that all the time, Danny had begun to feel like Ben was his older brother. They had shared a bond different from the bond he had with Sean and Mary. While they treated him just as good, Ben was more on his level. Ben had become, in his mind, his best friend, his role model, a person that he could tell any and everything to and not be criticized for it. Sean and Mary were good listeners too, but they were more like his parents, and some things, he just couldn't see talking to them about. The way things were going, nothing could have ever prepared Danny for the events that were about to happen which would have a profound effect on the rest of his life. 

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Danny, now thirteen years old, sat on the floor in the living room in front of the couch. He had the radio on full blast and his fathers journals spread out all over the place. Plus the pictures that he'd collected from Mary and Sean over the past two years and the small artifacts that they all had collected. He had a pencil sticking out of his hair, one in his mouth, and writing furiously with another one. Occasionally, he would look up to consult his fathers journal or to stare at a picture, and then go back to writing. He was so engrossed in what he was doing that he hadn't noticed that the radio was cut off. Spotting something out the corner of his eye, he looked up to see Ben standing over him staring at him. 

"Sorry," he apologized sincerely. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Well, how could you with the radio so damn loud. Your lucky my brother and his wife are out of town this week," Ben snapped out. 

Danny, used to the fowl language of Ben, just shrugged his shoulders, "I really am sorry." He turned his attention back to his work and began to furiously write again. Soon, he was oblivious to his surroundings.

Ben continued to stand there and stare at him, occasionally swaying some. "DJ, I got some people coming over in a few minutes. I need you to grab this stuff up and take it to your room....kay." He stood there staring at Danny and realized that he didn't hear a word he just said. "DJ, did you hear me? Get this shit up and take it in your room, they'll be here any minute man."

Danny had learned early own to tune things out. Being around hundreds of people while on digs with his parents, and trying to read the latest journals his parents had, he found it to be a good skill to have. He found that he could be just about anywhere and do his homework, or whatever without being distracted. Unfortunately, now was not the time to have that skill in use. Before he knew what happened, Danny was being picked up by the front of his shirt and flying over the couch. Before he could get his bearings, he felt his face impact with something and his head jerk violently to the right. Momentarily dazed, he registered a fairly familiar voice, a very loud voice yelling at him. Shortly afterwards, it became clear to him that the voice belonged to Ben. He rolled over on his back and leaned back on his elbows shockingly looking up Ben. Who just happened to be standing over him staring back at him darkly. 

"Get up," he hissed.

Too scared at the look in Ben's eyes and too stunned from what just happened to move, Danny just lay there staring.

"I said get up."

When Danny didn't move, Ben reached down and pulled him to his feet by his hair. 

Danny let out a yelp at the pain he felt. Broken from his momentary stupor, Danny noticed for the first time the almost empty beer bottle in Ben's hand. "I'm sorry," he said instinctively. "It will never happen again."

Ben stared at Danny and lifted him up into the air by the front of his shirt, causing him to choke slightly when his collar tightened around his neck. Taking a deep swig of his beer, he stared at Danny, releasing a deep heavy beer stained breath in his face. 

Danny squinted his face up at the horrific smell and fought to keep his stomach under control as he felt the urgent need to be facing a toilet. Looking back at Ben, he cursed his body as it visibly shook uncontrollably with ultimate fear. Danny involuntarily flinched when Ben brought his other hand back up to drink from his beer again. 

"Damn boy, you act like I hurt you or something," he said chuckling. "I see now that I'm going to have to toughen you up some. Especially if your going to be joining the Air Force. Can't have the Stuart name ruined because we had a weak link in the family," he said amusingly gently putting Danny back down. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, "Here," he said tossing it to Danny. 

Danny stared at the handkerchief and nervously looked back up at Ben.

"Your nose is bleeding. Go fix it and get back in here and take your stuff into your room. I got company coming over," he said lightly patting Danny on the shoulder and walking into the kitchen. 

******************************

Danny stumbled into the bathroom and fell up against the sink. While he was running hot water over the handkerchief, he glanced up at the mirror and stopped dead in his tracks. His nose was bleeding heavily and his glasses were bent. Removing them, he got a good look at the left side of his face and noticed the dark purple and blue bruise beginning to take form. And the beginnings of a black left eye. The jaw had a small scratch a few inches away from his lower lip where it was a tiny cut. Blinking back the tears and working on automatic, he hurried to clean his face and apply some ointment to help with the cuts and scrapes. He rushed to grab his books and paper and moved them to his room. On his last trip, he looked up nervously as Ben was standing in his doorway to his room with his arms crossed. Danny nearly dropped everything as his body shook more and more the closer he got to Ben. "Here," he heard Ben say and felt something cold on the side of his face. He absently took his hand and held it in place. "It'll help with the swelling."

Danny hesitantly nodded his head. And silently wondered how this man, whom he had trusted and loved with all his heart, could be such a monster one minute and then the man that he had began to look up to the next. He wondered what had happened in there. Did he say or do something that Ben found offensive? And when did Ben start drinking? As long as he's been with the Stuarts, he'd never seen Ben drink anything. Not even some New Years Eve wine. The Ben he knew would never hurt a fly. He couldn't even give him a spanking when he accidentally broke a very valuable vase that Ben had brought back with him after he had been called to duty. And what did he mean about the Air Force? Danny wasn't interested in joining the military. He had his heart set on being an archaeologist and linguist like his father. Living on a military base was one thing, but to join was a whole 'nother subject. Stifling his protest to that thought, he silently moved past Ben and entered his room. He dropped himself and his pile on the bed and lay there silently staring at the ceiling holding the ice pack to his face. Not long afterwards, he was sound asleep. 

******************************

Danny jerked awake to the loud sound of something crashing, broken glass, and profanity. Momentarily dazed and shaken up, he quickly rushed out of his room and down the hall towards the living room. Just before reaching the end of the hall, he noticed the fowl smell of beer mixed with stronger alcoholic beverages. Slowly, he took in the sight of the living room. It was in shambles. It would appear that it was the TV that had woken him up. It was lying face down on the floor and the stand was tipped over behind it. The couch had wasted beer all over it. The rug was stained as well and had several unknown people laying on it that were slowly waking up. He jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey there little man," A red head said to him as she brushed past him. Looking at her attire, even though she had on an Air Force uniform, it was quite clear that she was in no way associated with them. In fact, the way she was dumping stuff in her bag and yelling at the guys spread out on the floor about the other half of her money, it was quite clear to him who and what this woman was. He watched as Ben kicked and cursed at the men on the floor, "All right men, addy up."

All that could be heard was some disgruntled groans and incoherent mutters in which Danny was sure he knew where curse words. 

"Damn ya'll, come on. Addy up. I'm not paying for all this. I provided the house and the booze, the least you lazy bastards can do is pay the lady."

After about five minutes of moaning, groaning, cursing, and stumbling around the house, it was only Ben and Danny left in the living room. Ben looked around and cursed slightly to himself as he took in the appearance of the house. He was about to walk towards the bathroom when he noticed Danny standing in the hall way. 

"Shit, DJ, what the hell happened to you? You look like hell," Ben said gently touching Danny's face. Oblivious to the child's trembling and flinching. "Were you in a fight or something?" he asked gently as he knelt down to get a closer look at Danny's face.

Danny stood stunned. 'He doesn't remember,' he thought silently to himself. Danny looked up at Ben and saw genuine concern in his eyes. He saw love and caring and the Ben that he had come to look upon with almost godlike qualities. Studying his face, the monster from the night before was gone. Nowhere to be seen. 'Maybe he just got mad when he thought I was ignoring him,' he thought trying to rationalize the situation. 'Maybe, because he got drunk, he just got a little out of control. It's been known to happen,' he thought. Not really believing what he was thinking, but just trying his best to come up with something. Danny made a decision then, that if Ben didn't remember what happened, neither did he. And there was no way he was going to tell him. Somewhat satisfied with his thoughts, he let Ben take him into the bathroom so that he could tend to his wounds. 

******************************

It would be another two years of periodic broken arms, legs, mild concussions, bleeding noses, black eyes, cut and swollen lips, bruised stomachs and backs. Two years of constant lies told to Sean and Mary about falling off bikes, slipping down stairs, getting beat up by the school bully because he was different. Two years, of being told over and over again that everything that went wrong was his fault. Two years of being told that he was a disgrace to the Stuart name. Two years of never telling Ben what he tended to forget after he'd been drinking. Two years of living in ultimate fear of his life. Two years, till a tragic incident that would abruptly snatch everything that Danny had worked so hard to keep.

******************************

'Today is a good day,' Danny thought to himself. He was happier then he's been in long while. Not only because Ben had been recalled to duty for about three months now, but because Mary and Sean had just received the adoption papers saying that he was theirs now. 'I finally found a family,' he thought happily. 'I finally found a home.'

"Hey DJ," Sean said cheerfully. "What do ya say we all go out and celebrate the newest member of our family."

Danny nodded his head with a satisfied smile on his face. 'Two years,' he thought to himself. 'It had taken a little over two years since I met the Stuarts in order for the adoption to go through.'

"All right, we've got pizza on Main St., chinese food on Shane Dr., that Italian restaurant over on Marksville Avenue, and that all you eat buffet over on Chambers," Sean said grinning. 

"Doesn't that buffet have all the ice cream you can eat too," Mary said smiling as she saw Danny smile. 

"Sure does. So," He said turning his attention to Danny. "What'll it be buddy."

"The buffet of course," he said smiling. 

"Then the buffet it is," Sean said ruffling Danny's hair as they all headed out of the house. 

******************************

Two hours later, Danny sat in the back seat of the Stuarts car stuffed beyond his imagination. "Maybe I shouldn't have ate that much," he said jokingly. "I feel like I'm about to explode."

Mary let out a hearty laugh, "Well, three and half servings of chocolate ice cream can do that to you." She turned around to look at Danny, "Thank god it's Friday, because I see a belly ache coming on this weekend," she joked.

Danny rolled his eyes and grimaced at the thought. "As long as you don't take me to the hospital, I'm fine."

Sean laughed out loud, "DJ, you complain even when your not near a hospital. I could just drive by a pharmacy, and feel you tense up. I know kids don't like Doctors, but if looks could kill, there'll be alot of Doctors disappearing."

"You'd think that the feelings he has towards hospitals, it would be sufficient enough reason for him to stop acting like he's Superman."

"I don't act like Superman," Danny retorted grimacing at the small ache he was beginning to get. He really hated it when Mary was right. 

"Oh no!" Mary said. "Well, care to explain what you and Ben were really doing in order for you to get a broken arm and a broken leg."

"Not to mention the scrapes and bruises on his back which looked to me like you fell off of my brothers motorcycle," Sean jumped in. 

Danny chose that moment to be quite. If they wanted to believe that Sean was trying to teach him how to ride a motorcycle and he fell off, he was going to let them. There was no way he was going to tell them the truth about what really happened that day. No way in hell was he going to cause them to send him back to that orphanage. Which is what Ben said they would do to him if he ever told them. Dr. Pacey was nice, but she wasn't always around. Never around when he needed her the most. Never around at night when the older kids felt the need to use his head as a basketball or his body as a punching bag. Sure, he was somewhat used to what goes on between him and Ben, but at least it's not every night. Only when Ben had some leave time, comes home, and gets drunk. Which is kind of good on Ben's part, because that meant that his 'little incident's' he tended to have was periodical. Not often enough for anyone to not to assume that it was just a child being mischievous. Wanting to change the subject, "Hey, it looks like there's a black out."

"Yeah," Sean agreed.

"Honey, why don't you let me drive?" Mary asked gently.

"Yeah," Sean agreed nonchalantly. He really wanted to drive the rest of the way home. But because of his night blindness, he didn't want to further risk the lives of his wife and his new son. With a sigh of disappointment, he opened his door and stepped out of the car. He waited for Mary to walk around to his side and playfully stole a kiss from her. He chuckled some at the small groan he heard from inside the car. "Kids," he said stepping to the side to let her get in. Before Mary could get her other leg in the car, they were alerted to a screeching sound and bright white lights shining directly on them. Sean instinctively lunged himself forward into the car pushing Mary down in the front seat before they felt something impact with them sending their car slamming into a light post. 

Some time later, Danny woke up to the sound of someone calling his name. 

"DJ, wake up. DJ...."

He coughed out a, "Yeah. Sean?"

"Yeah," Sean said coughing some noticing an all too familiar odor. "DJ, are you all right. Anything broken?"

"No," he said slowly trying to get his bearings. "I'm fine, just a little sore. What...what happened?" he asked a little dazed. 

"DJ, can you move around back there," Sean asked urgently. Doing his best to keep his voice calm when he had to get the boy out of the car.

"Yeah."

"All right DJ, I need you do everything I tell you. O.K."

"O.K."

"I need you to see if you can get the door on the passenger side open."

After a few moments of grunting and struggling, Danny answered breathlessly, "It's stuck, I can't move it."

Sean bit back a curse as the odor began to get stronger. "DJ, I need you to grab the floor covers back there. Can you reach those?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Sean listened patiently to the grunts Danny was making. He took a moment to study his wife who was still underneath him as she began to stir. "Shhhh, it's all right honey. Well be O.K," he cooed when he noticed the recent events began to flood her memory.

"DJ?" she asked worriedly.

"He's fine honey," he said trying to calm her down. 

"I got them Sean," he heard Danny say.

"O.K DJ, I need you to put them over the window and break the glass....O.K."

"What?"

"Don't argue with me DJ. Place them over the window and kick out the glass. Then use them to knock away the rest of glass so you can slip through...O.K. I need you to this now DJ, you hear me?"

"O.K." Following Sean's instructions, Danny kicked out the glass and was able to climb out of the car. For the first time, he was able to take in the sight before him. Their car was firmly bent nearly half way around the pole. He could see steam coming from the front of the pick up truck, in which was embedded into the drivers side of the car. The trucks hood was wide open, so he couldn't see if anyone was still in the truck or not. Or if anyone was hurt. He turned his attention back Sean and Mary at the sound of his name. "Sean?"

"DJ, I need you to get away from the car now," he said with urgency.

"I can't leave you here Sean. I can break out the glass and..." Danny began to cry out. 

"There's no time for that Danny, even if you could break the glass, Mary and I are pinned down. We can't move. DJ, we passed a gas station about a mile back. Go there and call for help....kay," he began to choke out as the fumes began to take it's toll him. 

"But...."

"Daniel."

Danny flinched, Sean had never called him by his full name unless he was upset or needed him to do something right away. With a slow nod of his head and a longing stare at the car, Danny stumbled and slipped as he ran back towards the gas station. A few seconds later, Danny felt his feet lift off of the ground as he went airborne, slamming into a lamp post and slowly slumping to the ground. He was able to take in the sight of furious roaring flames before he plummeted into darkness. 

******************************

Six months later, Danny found himself back at the orphanage nurturing a broken leg, a sprained arm, and the after effects of a mild concussion. In all his time of living here and hating every moment of it, this time around, he was grateful. After Sean and Mary had died in the car explosion, Danny was placed under temporary custody with Ben. Mainly because he was the only living relative to the deceased and everyone believed that he would help Danny cope better with what happened. Plus, Ben was giving a chance to see if he wanted to take Danny in. Due to the circumstances, the organization was willing to let this case slide. 

******************************

Things seemed to be going well after the funeral. Ben had taken an extended leave of absence and the two of them were getting along fine. They talked to each other about the incident, consoled each other, sometimes, even cried together at night. One particular night, Danny woke up to someone shouting and yelling for help. He jumped out of bed and ran into the living room to find Ben thrashing about in his sleep. Danny quickly moved over towards him, and gently shook him to wake him up. Ben's eyes snapped open and he pushed Danny half way across the room.

Danny felt the wind leave his body when he landed hard on the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he panted out slowly climbing to his feet. "You were having a nightmare," he said looking up as Ben stood up. 

Ben stared at Danny darkly, "It's all your fault," he hissed out. "It's all your fault Sean's gone."

Danny felt his nerves flare up. Recognizing the look in Ben's eyes. Quickly, he scanned the room with his eyes and was not surprised to see several half empty beer bottles laying near the couch. He swallowed nervously as he backed up against the wall. Trying his best to sink into it out of sight. When he saw Ben lift his hand up, he closed his eyes and stilled himself for what he knew was coming next. But it never came. Hesitantly, he opened his eyes and saw Ben staring at his hands. For a moment, the monster was gone and the old Ben was back. But he thought too soon, because just as he relaxed, Ben reached back and punched Danny in the stomach full force causing him to double over with pain. He felt himself being lifted into the air by the back on his shirt.

"Ben," he yelled out as his small body went airborne and slammed into the china cabinet sending the dishes and broken glass crashing down on him. 

"It's all your fault. Your the reason they're dead," he heard Ben growl out before he felt Ben's foot make contact with his stomach. "You took the only thing I had in my life away from me. You took my brother away from me."

Danny pulled himself into a ball as tight as he could and tried desperately to cover his head as Ben kicked him and punched on him. His body ached with excruciating pain and shivered with uncontrollable fear. He began to hear another loud voice cutting over Ben's and realized that it was his own yelling for someone to help him and stop and please and that he was sorry. Suddenly, the onslaught on his body abruptly stopped. Too scared to move, he screamed at the top of his lungs when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He felt the hand draw away slowly as he allowed the fear and pain to slowly drag him into unconsciousness. Just before he dived, he heard someone say, "Place him in custody and get a medical team in here."

******************************

In August, the summer of Danny's sixteenth birthday, Danny sat in his seat on the bus. He was finally leaving the orphanage. He was on his way to college. He had won enough scholarships to pay for his entire education, books, and room and board. As well as some money left over that he had planned to place in a savings account to help pay for his travel expenses and digs in the near future. He was heading towards a new life. Finally, free of the bullies of the orphanage and the memories of Benjamin Stuart. He vowed never to join the military no matter what happened. He knew Ben was let off and reassigned to something else. Especially since he refused to talk about what Ben did to him. He just wanted to forget it ever happened, to get on with his life. He didn't want his misfortune plastered all over the news, especially since he felt he'd be in the news enough once he took up where his father left off. He had surmised in his head, that as long as Ben was in the military and away on some secret mission, they would never cross paths again. The only place that he knew they would see each other, would be at Sean and Mary's grave site. It tore him up inside that he couldn't go visit them, but he also knew it would hurt even more to have to run into Ben. And he meant that literally. With a long sigh of relaxation, Danny snuggled down into his seat on the bus, and went to sleep. 

_The End_

_Disclaimers:: _ Stargate Sg-1 and it's characters, backstory, dialog, and images contained within these pages are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I ask that you please respect the legal ownership rights of the companies involved. This story is for entertainment purposes only and absolutely no money was earned nor distributed. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and stories are the property of the author. This story may not be posted else where without the personal written consent/agreement of the author. I ask that you please respect and abide by my wishes.


	2. Episode Two:: A New Hope

Secrets

Episode Two:: A New Hope 

Written by Lonie

* * *

_Summary::_ Events preceding Daniel's decision to accept Catherine's offer to work for the SGC  
_Spoilers::_ 'Stargate' the movie  
_Category::_ Angst, Drama, some Humor, Hurt/Comfort  
_Warning::_ Language, minor adult themes, implied child abuse

* * *

Just as expected, Daniel flew through college. It wasn't that hard, he didn't have any friends to distract him. The only people who were around him constantly were all the Professors who appreciated his intelligence and the few students whom he tutored. Then, after he was offered a job at the college to teach, he had a lot of understudy's. Which wasn't surprising to him, he 'was' the youngest student to graduate from that school, not to mention he graduated at the top of his class. He didn't mind though. He rather enjoyed being to himself. He could do his work without worrying about being disturbed. It also saved him from people getting to know him, which would eventually lead to questions. Questions that he didn't want to answer. 

Occasionally, he'd get a call from Dr. Pacey. The only person from his childhood years that he kept in contact with. She'd want to know how he was doing, if he'd discovered some ancient ruin that would make him the richest man in the world, or if he'd found a girlfriend yet. Of course, he'd throw some strange explanation out there about him and his work. But she never bought it. She would always say that it was unhealthy for a young man to be so involved in his work and not have a woman around. Then he'd have to sit through a good thirty minutes of a lecture from her on tips to picking up women. Though, he really didn't need to here it. For Daniel had no problem picking up women. Almost everyday one of his students were hitting on him. True they were older than him, but still. He strongly encouraged a professional teacher and student relationship. A quality he learned from his father early on. The only problems he really had with women, was that he really didn't know how to handle the female 'professors' that came on to him. Like Dr. Asher.

Dr. Asher was the only woman that Daniel just couldn't function around. He'd met and taken to her his last year of Graduate school. Then, they ended up becoming co-workers. He suppose, that his lack of coherence around her, was because she was a splitting image of Mary Stuart. Only Dr. Asher had long brunette hair. He'd found, that she was as nice as Mary was and that they had a lot in common. If Mary was alive today, people would swear that they were twin sisters. They had formed a good professional relationship. All was going fine between them, until Dr. Asher took it upon herself to change things.

******************************

As usual, Daniel found his car being the only one parked in the faculty/staff first level parking lot. Juggling some books, loose leaf papers and his briefcase, he carefully made his way towards his car. Just as he reached the drivers side door, everything in his hands came crashing down as he was startled by some screeching tires. Stifling a curse, he bent down to pick them up and was momentarily blinded by some bright head lights. He looked up and brought a hand up to shield his eyes from the intensity of the glare. He stood up, forgetting the mess on the ground, as he saw the shape of someone getting out of the car. He pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose and squinted his eyes as some long, slender, shapely legs appeared in front of the headlights.

"Hello, Dr. Jackson," a soft female voice said. "Need some help there."

Daniel, recognizing the voice, began to feel his nerves flare up. "N...No...I got it Dr. Asher," he stuttered out. 

He bent down and hurriedly piled his stuff together. 

"You sure," she said walking over with a little amusement in her voice. "At least let me get the door for you."

Daniel swallowed nervously. She was standing right in his field of vision and her skirt was very short. He felt his heart beating in his throat as he felt a certain wave of heat. He stood up unsteadily and waited for her to unlock his door for him. Nodding his head in a thank you, he leaned in and tossed his stuff over to the passenger's side. Just as he was about to stand back up straight, he let out a yelp of surprise as Dr. Asher squeezed his buttocks. He stumbled back away from her and his car with a look of nervous surprise plastered on his face. 

"My God Doctor," she said laughing some. "I thought you were going to jump through the window on the other side."

Daniel, trying to calm down some, nervously said, "Wh...What did you do that for?"

Dr. Asher laughed some more as she seductively snaked her way over to Daniel, "What?" She asked as Daniel matched her steps backwards. "There's no need to be nervous around me Dr. Jackson. I thought, that I would make the transition from friends to lovers a little easier for you."

Daniel titled his head to the side, "Excuse me?"

"Awww, come on Daniel. You and I have been friends a long time now. And it's only natural for you to begin to have feelings for an older woman. I mean, younger men fall for older women all the time," she stated.

Daniel shook his no, "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about," he said backing into a pole.

"Sure you don't Daniel," she stated as she pinned him to the pole with her hands on his shoulders.

"Suzanne," he said with a little more authority. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

She smirked and in one quick swoop, kissed him passionately. After a few seconds, she found that the kiss was not being returned. Instead, she was getting protests and rejection. She quickly withdrew and studied his face, feeling embarrassment creep on her cheeks as she realized that he really didn't have a clue as to what she was talking about. "Oh shit," she said stepping away from him. She ran her fingers through her hair as she stared at him. "Please don't tell me that I read your signals wrong," she said with exasperation. 

"Signals?" he asked confused.

"Yes," she confirmed. "The signals you've been sending me. The nervousness, the stuttering, the fast breathing, ya know, signals," she said waving her hands. "Signals to let someone know that your interested in them, signals."

"Oh."

"Yeah"

Daniel slowly stepped towards her and turned her to face him. "I'm sorry Suzanne if I lead you on," he said sincerely holding her hands. "It was completely unintentional."

"Oh thanks a lot, that makes me feel a lot better," she stated sarcastically. 

"No...No...I didn't mean it like that. I mean, you are a very attractive woman and I'm sure every young male student on this campus has had there fantasies about you," he said trying to ease her embarrassment. 

"Except you," she stated disappointedly.

Daniel let a small smile grace his face as he let her hands go. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"So what were they?" she asked

"What was what?" 

"The signals, ya know. I may be getting old, but I haven't lost my ability to read certain signals Daniel," she stated shortly.

"Oh...no.....no. You remind me of someone. Someone that I once knew."

"Uh huh. Well, was she a girlfriend or something."

No...No...nothing like that," he paused nibbling on his lower lip. "She was my foster mother."

"Foster mother?"

"Yeah, she died a long time ago," he stated sadly. "You look a lot like her. Actually, you two could pass for twins if it weren't for you having long hair and a smoking habit."

"Oh God Daniel. I'm so sorry," she stated sincerely. "Man, I feel like such a fool. And here I am thinking you were too shy to let me know how you felt about me, when all along you were seeing her in me. God I'm sorry. Please forgive me?"

Daniel looked at her, a little thrown off by her plea for forgiveness. "There's nothing to forgive Suzanne. It was an honest mistake."

"Mistake, Daniel, I practically threw myself all over you."

Daniel chuckled slightly and shook his head in agreement.

"Look, let's just forget this ever happened O.K. You don't tell anyone and I'll be sure never to let anyone know how much of a fool I made of myself tonight," she asked hopefully.

"O.K."

With that, Daniel walked Suazanne back over to her car and watched her leave the parking lot. Then got into his car and sat staring at his steering wheel. He berated himself for not telling her the truth of why he was so nervous around her. Not only did she look like Mary, but she always made him think more about Ben. He'd have dreams about the terrible things that Ben did to him when he stayed with the Stuarts. Then, he'd think about why he never told them what Ben was doing. He also, would never tell her, that he used her presence to ease the pain of never going to visit Sean and Mary's graves. With Suzanne Asher around, it was like Mary there with him. Some how, some way, Mary was watching over him through Suzanne. And whatever Mary found out, she'd tell her husband Sean. Daniel took a deep breath and wiped a single tear away that fell unwillingly. He started the car and left. 

******************************

As he worked to make a name for himself in the world of science, Daniel found himself frequently coming face to face with the military world. Mainly asking him if he'd head certain digs, be a linguist for political matters in dealing with foreign countries, or even help hold seminars for aspiring young cadets with majors in his fields. Very politely Daniel would decline their offers. Giving them some speech about the way the military and politicians worked. Something about never wanting to deal with their methods of gathering information and keeping if from the rest of the world. These little antics earned him a fairly well known reputation of not liking the military. A reputation that he himself felt the need to put extra effort into. 

******************************

Daniel turned the small stone around in his hands. He blew off a little dust, causing him to have a sneezing fit due to the African wind blowing it back in his face. After regaining his composer some, he looked up as he noted Jean Luc coming towards him waving for his attention. He stood up and dusted off his clothes as he walked up to meet him. 

"Dr. Jackson," Jean Luc said with his strong French accent. "A man has come for you."

"A man?" he stated trying to wipe the dust and grit off of his glasses. 

"Yes," Jean Luc said smiling. "There," he said pointing over to their camp. 

Daniel put his glasses back on and squinted his eyes some as some military jeeps and a few Air Force men came into view. "What do 'they' want," he hissed out.

"They say to talk," Jean Luc said.

"Well, tell them I'm not interested," he said stooping back down to look at the small stone again. 

"You don't want to know what they're here for?" he asked confusingly. Jean Luc was the newest addition to Daniels crew. Unlike the rest, he had no idea about Daniel's dislike for the military. In his eyes, Daniel was passing up something major. Especially if it brought the military seeking you out. With that thought, he ignored Daniel and began to wave them over. 

Daniel caught the movement behind him and jumped up grabbing Jean Luc's hands, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Jean Luc, startled at the anger he saw in Daniel's eyes, stuttered out, "They just want to talk. Let's find out what they want. It could be something...."

"I don't give a damn what you think Jean Luc," he hissed out trying to control his fear as he saw them making their way over to them. "I honestly don't care what 'they' want," he said loud enough so that they could hear him. "I don't like the way they operate. Whatever they have to say to me, they can keep it. Because I don't want to hear it," and with that, he stormed off. Glaring at them as he made his way over to their camp site. He walked into his tent and plopped down on his sleeping bag. He covered his face with shaking hands. 'Don't you see Jean Luc,' he thought to himself. 'I can't work with them, I just can't.' Daniel laid down and cursed his terror of running into Ben.

******************************

Though, deep down inside, he really wanted to do a lot of things that he had been approached with, but the fear of accidentally running into Ben was much deeper. He hated that after all these years Benjamin Stuart still had a profound effect on him. But he just couldn't help it. Over the years of trying to analyze what went wrong, dealing with the painful loss of Sean and Mary, not being able to go and visit their grave sites for fear of running into 'him' and being blamed for their deaths, and having nightmares of Ben morphing into some hideous monster that always left him drenched in sweat gasping for air when he woke up, he had unwillingly given the man immortal qualities. Qualities that at this stage in his life, he was not ready to battle. Better yet, at any stage of his life. How do you battle something that is immortal? How do you destroy it? Yes, he was being, in his eyes, a whimp. But he just couldn't help it. Besides, he had more important things to be strong about. Like, trying to convince the science world of his new theories about ancient Egypt. 

******************************

Over the next few years, Daniel found himself fighting a losing battle. He had been laughed at, teased, and even had his life threatened from the scientific community on his theories about ancient cultures and writings. Once, he was even physically removed by a guard whom claimed that he was being a trouble maker and to never show his face there again. Now banned from many prestigious organizations, being shut out of governmental grants, and earning a reputation for being insane, he'd finally reached the end of his rope. He had one more lecture to give and prayed to God that at least one person would hear him out entirely. That's all he wanted, to be heard out completely. Because this lecture was going to be a major turning point in his life. Now flat broke except for the change in his pocket, homeless with nothing to show he ever had a home and two suitcases filled to the rim with his fathers and mothers journals, Sean and Mary's photos he collected from them, and his own journals and books that he had collected over the years, Daniel headed for the last place where he was either going to leave with nothing more than what he walked in with or something more. 

******************************

Several hours later, Daniel stepped into the coffee shop and pealed off his soaking wet coat. He made his way to a lone corner booth near the back, dropped his suitcases on the floor under the table and his coat in the seat across from him.

"What can I get for you today hun," a waitress said snatching a white towel off of her shoulder and wiping water droplets off of the table. 

"Uh coffee and some toast," Daniel said noticing the way the waitress was smacking on some gum and two pencils sticking out of her blonde curly hair with specks of gray showing through. 

"Will that be all?"

"Uhm yes Ma'am."

"Ma'am?" the waitress said sharply putting her hands on her hips. "I ain't no Ma'am young man. All you see is my gray. Call me Laura," she said holding her hand out to shake his.

"Sorry," he said sincerely. 

"Oh," she said waving her hand. "Don't worry about it hun. Just give me a hallah if you need anything else."

Daniel nodded his head as he watched her walk away. He sat in silence staring out the window for a few minutes before Laura came back.

"Here ya are hun," she said placing a steaming hot cup of coffee in front of him and a plate of toast. "Want cream or sugar with that."

"Uhm...No...black is fine."

She nodded her head, "All right, I'll be back later on to check on ya O.K."

Daniel mumbled a quick thank you as she walked off again. 

Slowly, he wrapped his hands around his steaming hot cup of coffee and took a long deep sip. Savoring the warmth as it spread throughout his body. He stared back out of the window watching the rain as it danced on the sidewalk. Occasionally, he'd stretch out his legs and tap his life. Well, all he had left that he could stuff into his two suitcases. Sighing heavily, he allowed his thoughts to wonder.

******************************

Daniel found himself back at the podium in the conference room. Desperately trying for the umpteenth time to convince 'the' top scientists from around the world his latest theories on ancient writings. For awhile there, even though things where getting a tad bit crazed, he held their interest. Now, if only he could write fast enough to get his theories on the board, he might actually have a satisfied crowd for the first time since he started this tirade. Unfortunately, unsurprising to him, the one question that he dreaded was asked. 

"Well Dr. Jackson," one lone voice called out over the crowd. "Who do you think built the pyramids?"

'Damn,' he thought. 'How the hell am I supposed to answer that?' Stifling a frustrated sigh, he slowly turned around and told the truth. "Well," he said waving his hands nervously. "I don't have any idea who built them," he said trying to ignore the scene of people leaving. "But that's not the point," he rambled on quickly trying hard to catch someone's attention. A few seconds later, he found himself standing in the room alone. With a deep sigh of frustration, he slumped down to sit on the platform. "What am I doing?" he asked himself quietly as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Well Dr. Jackson,' he thought. 'There goes what was left of your career. Not that you had much of one anyway.' With a half laugh half sigh sound, he dropped his head and covered his hands over his face, contemplating what he was going to do now and where he was going to go. 

******************************

"I said if you wanted a refill on your coffee hun," Laura said studying him curiously.

"Oh...uhm...I'm sorry. Yes...please."

Laura poured him another cup and asked, "Girl trouble?"

"Excuse me?" he asked confused.

"Girl trouble," she repeated setting his cup down in front of him. "The look you have on your face tells me that you're having problems with your girl. Wanna talk about it?"

"Uhm...no...no...I'm fine," he responded unsure of himself. "Thank you for your concern though."

"Ya sure hun," she insisted. "Sometimes, it helps to get it off your chest. Sometimes talking to a stranger can be very good as well."

"No...ma'a....Uh...Laura. I'm fine," he said forcing a smile. 

"All right then hun. I'll be back later to check on ya." She looked down at his plate. "Ya want some more toast?"

"No thank you."

"All right then," she said as she walked away, occasionally glancing back at him. 

He sat there nurturing his fresh cup of coffee. Staring out the window watching as the rain began to let up some, he allowed his thoughts to wonder again. 

******************************

Daniel walked down the steps as quickly as he could. He ignored the laughter, comments about him believing aliens and little green men had built the pyramids, and little sounds insinuating that he had lost his mind as he finally made it outside. He welcomed the chill that spread throughout his body as the cold wind from the rain hit him. Tightening his grip on his suitcases, he pulled his coat closed and was prepared to wonder around in the rain when someone called his name. 

"Excuse me, Dr. Jackson," someone said to him. 

"Yes," he answered automatically as he looked up and froze. 'Air Force,' he thought as he studied the mans uniform. He felt his nerves flare up. 'What do they want?' he thought cursing the images that it brought to his mind. 

"Someone would like to have a word with you Sir," the officer said, gesturing towards a black limousine.

'Oh God,' he thought as he stared at the tinted windows. 'What if.....' he shook his head slightly as he scratched that thought. 'Calm down Jackson,' he said to himself. 'They just want to ask you the same thing every other military branch has asked you. Just say what you always say and leave it at that.' He took a deep nervous breath, "Who...who is it?"

"If you could just step over to the car sir?" the officer asked gently. 

Daniel studied him and the car curiously. 'I can just see who it is. It want hurt any,' he thought taking a deep nervous swallow. His mind made up, he reached a shaking hand down to pick up his suitcases. 

"I've got these sir," the officer said opening the door for him to get in. 

He took a nervous look in the car and released a breath of relief when he saw an older woman sitting there. With one last glance behind him, he stepped in and closed the door. 

******************************

Daniel jumped out of his thoughts as he heard something crashing. He looked around to see a young waitress stooped down picking up broken dishes. He listened to her saying that she was sorry over and over again as the owner yelled at her as he bent down to help her clean up the mess. He looked up and forced a smile when he saw Laura coming over towards him. 

"Poor child," she said pouring him another cup of coffee. "I remember my days of making messes. Boss'll chew her out from now till she quits. Hell, my mistake was years ago and he still chews my rump," she said amusingly. With a quick glance to see if her boss was still occupied, she slipped in the seat across from Daniel, pushing his coat towards the wall. "I'm sorry honey," she said sincerely. "But I've been watching you ever since you came in here. And I just can't let you sit here looking like your dog just died. Why don't you talk to me," she said gently. "I don't have to say a word. People have called me a great listener," she said hopefully. 

Daniel shook his head no, but his eyes were unsure. He tilted his head to the side and studied her. "It's nothing...really," he said unconvincingly.

Laura just sat there staring at him crossing her arms on the table. "Oh goodness me. I don't even know your name handsome," she stated trying a new tactic. 

"Daniel. It's uhm...Daniel Jackson," he said blushing a bit. 

"It's good to meet you Daniel Jackson," she said smiling. "Now that we're better acquainted, why don't you tell me about this girl of yours that has you lost in Bonkers."

Titling his head at the phrase, he found himself talking. "She's not a girlfriend."

"Oh"

"I mean," he stumbled out. "She's not my girlfriend."

"Uh huh."

"She's, well, I just met her about an hour ago. She approached me with a proposition."

"A proposition," she repeated fighting to hide the smirk on her face.

Daniel looked up and realized what he had just said. "No..no...it's not what you think."

Laura shook her head not really believing him. "Well, what did she say?"

"She offered me a job," he said unenthused. "A chance to do what I've been trying to do for most of my life."

"For something you've been wanting to do for awhile, you sure don't sound that excited about it," she observed. 

"It's not that I'm not excited," he said sitting up straighter in his seat. "Don't get me wrong, I mean, I would jump at an opportunity like this no questions asked. I mean, to have proof of what I've been saying all along. To finally, be able to see that I was right all this time. To prove to everyone that I have not completely gone mad," he said looking as if he was about to jump out of his seat. 

"My God honey," she said thinking of the passion he had in his eyes. "Then why are you so down young man? It sounds to me that you have just been offered the opportunity of a life time."

Daniel slouched back down in his seat and sighed. "I'd have to work with the military." 

"The military?" she asked. "What's so bad about that?"

Daniel dropped his eyes down on his cup of coffee. "I'm not a real fan of them, that's all."

Laura studied him and knew that there was more to it than just that, but chose not to push. "Honey, a lot of people don't like working with the military. But the good thing is, they came to you asking you for help. Whatever it is, I'm sure they'll accommodate whatever your needs are. I mean," she said with a laugh, "it's not everyday that those fools admit to needing help from anyone. Personally, I'd feel honored." 

Daniel let a small smile grace his face.

"Listen hun, what ever your worries are about working with them, I just can't see them standing in the way of you pursuing your dreams. In just that brief moment when you where explaining to me your feelings of this opportunity, I saw more passion in your eyes than I've seen in my entire life time. And that's a long time, if I may," she chuckled out trying to lighten the mood. "I want you to think about all that you can lose if you decide to except this job." She waited for a moment as she sensed his wheels turning. 

"Well," he half laughed half sighed out. "That's easy. Let's see, I was evicted from my apartment earlier today so I have no place to live. I completely screwed up any chances I had of furthering my career after the conference this morning. And the only things I have with me are not even worth any effort from a petty thief. To sum it up, I've basically hit rock bottom."

Laura looked at him sympathetically, "Well, it looks to me like you've all ready made up your mind."

"Huh?"

She let a smile grace her face, "Honey, you said it yourself. You have no home, no job, and nothing worth stealing. So, if the only thing that you may lose is the clothes on your back in exchange for some clean military duds, I don't see a problem. I'm sure they'll provide a place for you to stay and you'll be doing something you enjoy. A luxury every human being on this Earth dreams about. Not to mention the chance to prove to everyone that you were right all along. If not for those reasons, from what I've seen here, the thrill alone should be one hell of a ride for ya. It seems to me, that your worries are nothing compared to everything that you will gain. The least you can do is go and check it out for awhile, see how you like it. At least then, you won't be sitting around in some dirty back alley or better yet, an old coffee shop talking to an old woman wondering 'what if'." She stood up and patted him on his shoulder, "Why don't you take some time and think about it a little hun. I'm sure whatever you decide, it'll be the right choice." With that said, she placed the bill in front of him, gave him a wink and walked away. 

Danny sat silently staring after her for what seemed like an eternity. He let his eyes drift over the few people that were sitting in the coffee shop. It was getting late, so the lunch rush was over. Now, there was only old men and homeless people in there sipping on steaming hot cups of coffee. Every once in awhile he'd hear a cough here and there. As his eyes roamed, he locked gazes with an old dirty homeless man who lifted his cup of coffee, acknowledging a hello. Daniel nodded his head and reached up to grab his cup of coffee. He heard someone start laughing out loud. Right before he took a sip, he saw himself. Sitting right in front of him where the old homeless man was sitting at. He was dirty, old, worn down, and was clearly carrying a heavy load of regret. The laughter he heard began to get louder and louder as it seemed like time had slowed around him. He saw a shadow looming over the old him and hesitantly looked up to see Ben standing over him laughing and hugging a beer bottle. 

"I told you. Didn't I tell ya DJ. I told you that you'd be nothing. I told you that no one would want to be around you. You're worthless. Everything is your fault. Everything," Ben said laughing evilly. 

Danny watched himself cringed into the corner of the booth, agreeing with everything Ben said. Suddenly, he saw Ben begin to grow taller and bigger while still laughing. "I'm better than you DJ. For your nothing without me. Nothing, you worthless piece of shit," he said as he drew back a hand and swung it to slap him.

"NO," Daniel yelled out, abruptly slamming his coffee back down and jumping up from his seat. Oblivious to the startled stares he was getting. He scrambled to drop his money on the table, grabbed his bags and coat and rushed out. Stopping just before he reached the door to mouth a quick thank you to Laura. Then he turned and ran out into the street flagging down cabs, for he had a plane to catch and a devil to beat, or rather a chance to prove to himself that Benjamin Stuart did not run his life. 

_The End_

_Disclaimers:: _ Stargate Sg-1 and it's characters, backstory, dialog, and images contained within these pages are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I ask that you please respect the legal ownership rights of the companies involved. This story is for entertainment purposes only and absolutely no money was earned nor distributed. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and stories are the property of the author. This story may not be posted else where without the personal written consent/agreement of the author. I ask that you please respect and abide by my wishes.


	3. Episode Three:: Abydonian Tales

Secrets

Episode Three:: Abydonian Tales

Written by Lonie

* * *

_Summary::_ Events chronicling Daniel's time on Abydos  
_Spoilers::_ 'Stargate' the movie, Children of the Gods  
_Category::_ Angst, Drama, teensy bit o' Horror, some Humor, Hurt/Comfort  
_Warning::_ Character Death, Minor adult themes, implied child abuse

* * *

Daniel arrived at the SGC like a child in a toy store. He was looking around wide eyed and putting everything to memory. He was excited, well, more like extremely overly anxious. He was stumbling over his own two feet and running into almost everyone that he passed. He just couldn't keep his eyes ahead of him. There were all kinds of things running through his head as he took in his surroundings. Like, what is it that requires so much security? Or, what ever was found, what did they need him for? With everything that popped in his head, nothing, in his wildest dreams, could have ever prepared him for what he was about to see. 

******************************

He walked into the room and felt like he was floating in heaven. There, hoisted up by some steel rods and cables was a large, cover stone with markings the likes of which he had never seen before. As if on queue, he began to mumble the few things that he recognized to himself when he heard a familiar voice. 

"O.K. Jackson."

Daniel turned around in a momentary daze, "Hello...hello," he said quickly shaking Catherine's hand. He turned back around and stared at the cover stone, "This...wha...this...," he stuttered out. "Where did you find this?" 

"Giza Plateau 1928," she said thoughtfully.

"I...I've never seen anything like it," he said already tuning everything out around him. He had to touch it. He had to be sure that what he was looking at wasn't some kind of illusion or a dream. He slowly reached out a hand and began to gently touch the surface. Being careful not to cause any more damage than what it sustained over the years. After he realized that what he was looking at was indeed real, he slowly allowed the world around him to come back to life.

"....but the outer track is like the cartouche in the center," he heard a voice say. "It's got writing unlike we've ever seen before."

"Those aren't hieroglyphics," he said calmly. Slowly bringing up languages that he thought it might be. As he studied it, he slowly made his way over to a lone blackboard. "Well, the translation is wrong. Must've used...." Danny slowly began to mumble to himself and erase the earlier translation. Quickly shutting out the voice of someone trying to get his attention. Satisfied with what he changed, he turned around and asked, "Well, so, why is the military so interested in five thousand year old Egyptian tablets?"

"My report says ten thousand," a stern voice cut in. 

Daniel whipped his head around at the voice. He watched, unperturbed, as a tall man with the famous short military crop hair cut enter the room and quickly disregarded him. He began to voice his thoughts to Dr. Barbara Shore. While conversing, he quickly tried to push for more information. 

"Excuse me, this information has become classified," the man said. 

Daniel looked at him strangely as he watched Catherine follow Colonel 'what's his name' out. He turned around and finished conversing with the Doctors. He was more than ready to get to work. He silently thanked Laura of the coffee shop for talking some sense into him, for what he saw hanging in front of him, was indeed worth more than his worries. 

******************************

He had done it. He had figured out the translations, figured out how the Stargate worked, and was the member of the first team to go through it. He was so excited at what they had experienced on the other side that he felt numb. All these years and he was so close. There was proof. Undoubtedly proof that he was so close and right on the mark, that it was scary. After he'd seen Jack and his team through, he didn't know what to do, how to act, or what to say. He kept nervously rubbing his hands over his robes, then he'd take them and cross his arms over his chest, then he'd run his hands through his hair. He was just a big restless nerve. Not only because he was right, but because the Abydonians had answered a question that had been plaguing him for years. A question, that he had given up any hope of ever finding an answer to. 'How do you kill something that is immortal?' 

******************************

Over the next few months of his new life as an Abydonian, Daniel found himself becoming a totally different person. He found himself actually remembering what the word happiness meant. It had been so long since he'd experienced it, that he kept looking around waiting for something to happen. Always on alert and never letting his guard down. Especially when it came to his wife Sha're. 

Sha're was at the center of his happiness. She was the light in his life. The only person that he actually wanted to be close to. The only person he wanted to get to know him. He wanted to tell her everything. Everything that he had experienced in his life up till now. And he did, well, mostly everything. He talked to her about his parents, his life in the orphanage, an edited version of his time with Sean and Mary, his time in college and everything after. And she'd returned the favor, telling him everything about her and her family. Then, she'd go into in depth details about their present day culture and so forth. Unknowingly giving fuel to the internal flame that burned deep within him to learn more.

******************************

Daniel had made a daily effort of scouting out the surrounding area to see if there was more ruins or anything more that would give him some extra insight into the Abydonian culture. One particular day, he and Skaara were wondering around when a sand storm appeared without warning, sending them sprawling into the air and landing hard on the sand. They scrambled and dug into the sand trying desperately to hang on to each other and what ever rock they had grabbed to halt their superman renditions. The storm had passed as quickly as it had come, leaving them buried deep in the sand. After some grunts, constant spitting, digging and heaving themselves out of their sand graves, they were able to get free. They sat, breathing heavily and completely exhausted. 

"You look funny," Skaara laughed out pointing at Daniel's face.

"Yeah, well, you don't look any better," he panted out as the first of a tirade of sneezes hit him. He tried desperately to dust the sand away from his face and hands as he sneezed in steady successions. He reached under his robes and searched for the handkerchief Sha're had made for him out of his military shirt he wore when he first arrived. After what seemed like an eternity, he finally found it, and quickly put it to his nose as another explosive sneeze ripped through him. He heard laughter and looked down to where Skaara was laying on the ground holding his stomach. 

"Dan-iel," he said laughing some more. "Dan-iel," he gasped out again pointing to the handkerchief.

Daniel removed his handkerchief and looked down at it. He stifled a curse as he realized that it was covered in sand. He rolled his itchy watery eyes and began the succession of sneezes again. He was starting to get frustrated. He was mad that he couldn't stop sneezing long enough to catch his breath and the fact that Skaara was rolling and laughing on the ground wasn't making things any better. With an explosive sneeze that landed Skaara with some extra stuff on his face, he began to chuckle to himself. He sneezed and laughed as Skaara jumped to his feet and desperately tried to wipe his face with a look of disgust. He watched as Skaara finally stopped his relentless efforts at cleaning himself off and joined him in one final laugh. "Maybe we need a bath," Daniel suggested as his sneezing came in longer intervals.

"Yes," Skaara agreed, "A long long bat-h." Skaara smiled at him as he reached out a hand to help his brother-in-law to his feet. 

Daniel smiled and excepted the offer. He was beginning to relax some more as his sneezing began to stop completely, when he found himself face down in the sand again. He groaned, and shook his head as he immediately began to sneeze again. He became even more agitated as he heard Skaara laughter ringing about. He rolled his eyes and sat up. Sighing heavily, he looked down where his foot was and cursed at the small stone that had jumped in front of his right foot somehow. "What the," he said as he noticed some writings on it. He slowly climbed to his knees and crawled over to it to get a better look. He gently dusted away some more sand and nearly knocked Skaara out when he jumped to his feet. He turned around and sneezed out a sorry as he grabbed onto Skaara's arms. 

"What is it Dan-iel?" Skaara asked a little worriedly at the crazed look his brother-in-law had in his eyes. 

"Skaara," Daniel sneezed out excitedly in his Abydonian tongue. "Go get your friends."

Skaara felt his nerves flare up. He had never seen Daniel act so strangely. He turned and looked down at the stone as Daniel bent back down to dig at it. "What is it?" he asked again a little worried.

"I don't know yet," Daniel responded absently. "It might be some more information about your ancestors."

Skaara's face lit up, "Where we come from...yes?"

"Yes," Daniel sneezed out. "Now go."

Skaara nodded his head and quickly ran to get some help. Well, as quickly as it took for him to take a quick bath and grab some clean robes for him and his brother-in-law.

******************************

Daniel found that he was pinching himself almost daily. He just couldn't believe that life could be this good. He'd found a loving home, a wonderful family, and a cave with enough information to keep him busy for a good while. He was in heaven and strangely beginning to let his guard down. Slowly, but tenderly, he began to tell Sha're of Benjamin Stuart. Well, not that he really wanted to. Sha're somewhat pushed for it after trying to soothe him after he'd have a nightmare his first few months there. He'd always say something about his fear of facing Ra and if things didn't work out the way it did type stuff. Though, it was no were near the truth of his nightmares. But it was true that he felt that way. After awhile, the nightmares ceased. He began to have happy dreams of his life as an Abydonian and finding all that he could learn about them, and his wife and her family. The type of dreams that had him waking up with a warm content smile on his face. 

One particular night, after he and Skaara had there umpteenth talk over the lighter Jack had given the boy. Daniel found himself laying awake wondering how Jack was getting along. He was wondering if he and Sarah had worked things out and if he was coping better with his son's, Charlie, death. He also wondered, how long it will be before Jack would have to tell the truth about what happened here. 'That would be something to see,' he thought to himself as Sha're moved slightly in his arms. 'Just how would Jack explain that to his superiors.' He chuckled slightly to himself as he thought about how the military hated to be lied to. Especially when it involved the chain of command. 

As he thought, he found himself thinking of the hundreds of stories Sean used to tell him of his days in the Air Force. How he was able to get out of tight situations by talking his way out of them. Or, how his friends would get chewed out for some of the crazy things they did. He found himself laughing as he thought of one particular story. 

******************************

Danny sat on the floor as Mary and Sean sat on the couch. He was laughing hysterically as he watched Sean jump up and land on his feet with his arms spread out imitating an airplane. 

"....and then," Sean said laughing. "Bronco did the fly by and we could hear all kinds of cursing on our radios."

"Bronco," Danny said laughing. "Bronco was crazy. There's no way I would have done that."

" Well," Mary said laughing. "Bronco did have a few loose marbles."

"Anyway," Sean continued. "After we had landed, they had about eight gaurds ready to personally escort us to Colonel Roadkill's office."

"Colonel Roadkill?" Danny asked chuckling.

"Yeah, well, that was our nickname we made up for him," Sean confirmed. "The man had a stench so bad in his mouth, you'd swear he was snacking on roadkill."

Danny found himself laughing harder than he's laughed before in his life. He was wiping his eyes as tears of happiness fell. He looked over to Sean and felt his heart skip a beat as he disappeared right before his eyes. "Sean?" he asked nervously as he stared at the now empty spot. He scrambled to his feet as he turned to see Mary gone as well. "Mary?"

"Sean? Mary?" he called out louder and louder as the room he was in began to grow darker and darker. Soon, he found himself standing in complete darkness with a small beam of white light coming in from above. Terrified out his mind, he looked up and felt his world crash as he saw Ben standing over him with red beedy eyes and sharp wolf like teeth. He was laughing at him as he reached down and grabbed Danny by his hair.

"NO," Danny yelled out as he felt a searing pain rip through his body. "Please Ben," he cried out as he felt another pain shoot through. 

"DJ," Ben said in a voice that sounded a lot like Ra's. "You took Sean away from me. It's all your fault their dead. You killed them. You killed them. It's all your fault. You worthless piece of shit," he said as he flung Danny into a wall. Watching amusingly as he slumped down to the ground with trickles of blood coming out of his mouth. 

Danny shook violently. He was dazed and in a great deal of pain. He tried to push himself up on unsteady arms just as Ben foot contacted with his ribs. "Ahhhhhhh," Danny cried out collapsing back to the floor. 

"You DJ," Ben hissed at him. "You have to pay for what you did. You have to pay for killing my brother," Ben said as he began to punch on Danny.

Danny covered his head as best he could and pulled his body in a fetal position. He was screaming at the top of his lungs for Ben to stop and that he was sorry and that it was an accident. He felt Ben dig his nails in his left shoulder and yelled out in pure terror as he saw Ben smiling evilly as he drew back with his heart beating in his hands. "NOOOOOOOO............." 

Daniel jumped to his feet swinging his arms wildly. He was desperately trying to fight off the hands that were on him. He contacted with something and felt relieved when he heard a small grunt. He stumbled back until he came back to back with a wall and slowly slid down into a sitting position. Slowly, his Abydonian home came into view. He blinked his eyes and nearly jumped out of his skin as he realized that it was Sha're that he had hit. He climbed to his hands and knees and quickly crawled over to her. "Oh God," he said nervously. "I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry," he said checking her to see if he had done any more damage then hitting her in the stomach. 

"Dan-iel?" she asked quietly, looking shockingly at him as she began to cry.

It was at that moment, that Daniel knew he had to tell her what happened. There was no way he could lie to her after this. He had unknowingly done the one thing that he swore that he would never do. He had abused someone. Though, it wasn't what many people considered abuse by the circumstances. He was dreaming after all. But the fact alone that he had raised his hand to strike out was enough for him. He slowly lowered his head in Sha're's lap and cried like he's never cried before. He cried for Sha're, Sean, Mary, his fear of Ben, and what Ben had made him, in his eyes, become. He cried for the rest of the night, hanging on to Sha're like his world would end if he let go. When the rays of the first sun began to show through their small home, he began to tell his wife about Benjamin Stuart. 

******************************

Over the next few months, Daniel felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Every night, since that night, he and Sha're had talked about Ben. He told her everything, every graphic detail of what Ben did to him. He told her of the guilt Ben made him feel about Sean and Mary's deaths, the way Ben made him feel that he was worthless, and that he didn't feel like he deserved to be happy. Everything that he could think of that happened she knew. She knew, and showed nothing but support, concern, sympathy, and overwhelming love. She sat right there with him, holding him tight in her arms after he'd unshamelessly cried himself to sleep. He loved his wife. He loved her more than life itself. He vowed, that if the day ever came where he had to give his life in order to save hers, he would gladly do so without hesitation. He would protect her with his life. He would do every and anything in his power to make sure that she remained happy and would never have to endure the type of sadness that he has endured for the majority of his life. Unknowingly to him at the time, Daniel had no idea how soon his words would ring true. 

******************************

Sha're slowly made her way into the dimly lit cave. She stumbled slightly as she heard a soft voice muttering sounds that she had become used to. Stepping down from an out cropped piece of rock, she placed her torch in a slot on the caves wall. "Dan-iel?" she called out as she moved towards her husband who was running his fingers along the wall. "Dan-iel?" she called out again as she came to stand behind him, listening to him speak in his native tongue he called Eng-lish. With a frustrated sigh and a mischievous smile gracing her face, she finally reached out and tickled him under his arms growling like an animal.

Daniel yelped out and dropped everything in his hands. He quickly slipped and stumbled as he took off running towards a far wall. He picked up a stone and pressed his back up against the wall breathlessly as he searched for some huge hideous animal with slobbering teeth. His heart felt as if it was about to jump out of his chest and he was blinking rapidly. Searching the cave, he cursed out loud as he saw Sha're leaning against the wall laughing. She was hunched over slightly holding her stomach as she continued to laugh.

Daniel let a sigh escape his lips, "Sha're?" he said with exasperation. He threw the stone down to the ground and stumbled back over to her, slumping down to sit on the ground. He watched as she sat down next to him smiling warmly at him. 

"Oh my Dan-iel," she said giving him a passionate kiss. She softly began to laugh again as she pulled away from him. 

"That's not funny Sha're," Daniel said trying his best to keep a serious face.

"Forgive me my Dan-iel," Sha're said immediately ending her laughter. They sat staring at each other for a few seconds before they both burst out into laughter again. What seemed like an eternity later, they both were slightly startled by a loud crashing sound and someone grunting and cursing in Abydonian. They quickly jumped to their feet and made their way over to the caves entrance. 

There, on the ground, was three of Skaara's friends tangled up in a twisted heap of mess with something metal underneath them. Skaara was standing behind them laughing when he looked up to see Sha're and Daniel laughing as well. "Dan-iel," he said, carefully stepping over his friends who were cursing at each other and trying to unhook there robes from the metal thing. "Another has come through," he said pointing to, what Daniel saw as a MALP.

"Well," Daniel said stooping down to get a better look at it. "I guess you have another cooking pot Sha're."

Skaara smiled as he reached under his robes, "And this."

Daniel stood up and took the box of tissue from his hands. "Well Jack," he said smilingly to himself. "You lasted a whole year, much longer than I thought." 

"It is from O'Ne-il...Yes?" Skaara asked brightly.

Daniel nodded his head, "No one but Jack would send me something like this."

Sha're stepped closer to Daniel and put her arms around him. "I will go wit you my Dan-iel," she said sincerely.

"What?"

"When you go back to Eart. I will go wit you."

Daniel stared at his wife like she had groan another head. "I'm not going back there Sha're," he said reassuringly. "I belong here, with you and Skaara and Kasuf. This is my home now. On Abydos with you," he said bending down to kiss her passionately. 

Skaara smiled and turned away, scooting his nosey friends back out of the cave so that his sister and brother-in-law could have some privacy.

"Dan-iel," Sha're said some time later. "Why contact you now?"

"I don't know," he said truthfully. "But if Jack had to tell them the truth, something must have happened." He grabbed his wife's hand. "Come," he said pulling her behind him. "We'll meet with the elders and see what we can do." 

******************************

Sometime later, Daniel found himself sitting in a circle of Abydonians and Earthlings. He was shocked at how fast Kasuf and the elders had agreed to reopen the gate. They felt that Jack and his friends were their saviors and deserved whatever help they needed. Daniel found that he was the only one voicing negative thoughts on why they should leave the Gate sealed. Not that he was scared of going back to Earth, but because he was just plain scared. He had left that life he had behind and didn't want anything to ruin the new life he had here. He felt, that allowing them back here, it would grudge up memories that he and Sha're had worked so hard for him to forget. He didn't understand it, but he felt as if something bad would come out of it. After about the first few hours, he found that he was wrong. He was happy to see Jack and the rest of the guys again. He found himself smiling, and enjoying the feeling that he had been missed. They sat laughing and catching up a little on what happened after they parted last. 

"My God Daniel," Jack said spitting out his drink. "Moonshine? Daniel, what have you been teaching these kids."

Daniel just smiled at him. He made a mental note to see how his friend was doing once they got some time alone together. He noticed, that Jack seemed a little more relaxed. He also noticed, that Jack didn't have that suicidal look in his eyes anymore. As if he heard his thoughts, "You look good," Jack said sincerely.

Daniel smiled, "So do you," right before Sha're stuffed some food in his mouth. He heard someone ask a question and joined in, "Yes, why have you come back here?"

Daniel felt his nerves flare up as he listened to Jack explain what happened at the SGC base. He was worried for the people of Abydos. Sure the Gate was guarded, but they could come in ships. He felt his walls instantly going back up. The fear of losing everything to Ra, or who ever this other guy was pretending to be Ra, made him want to send Jack and his team back to Earth and rebury the Gate. He could easily pretend that they never had this conversation and was ready to do just that when his conscience took over. He knew deep down that he couldn't do that. He knew, that he had to do what he could to help them out. So, he decided that after the storm let up, he was going to take them to the cave he'd literally stumbled upon.

******************************

Not long afterwards, Daniel felt his smile begin to fade as he approached the pyramid that housed the Stargate as some people came running and shouting for him to hurry in. He began a slow jog trying to catch what was being shouted out at him. He heard someone say that they took Sha're and everything else ceased to exist around him. He found himself running at top speed to get to Sha're. He leaped up the entrance ramp and bowled over everyone that was in his way.

"Sha're?" he called out desperately searching everywhere. "Sha're?" he called again as he spotted someone laying on the ground.

"Where is Sha're?" he asked the young boy.

"Ra," he gasped out. "Ra took her."

Daniel felt as if he couldn't breath. He felt the walls closing in on him as he tried desperately to comprehend. "Ra is dead," he shouted to the boy. "He is dead." He felt his body shaking as he watched the boy's body shudder with his final breath. Daniel stood up and wanted to scream at the top of his lungs. 'No,' he thought to himself as he looked around shockingly at the chaos around him. 'No.'

"We've got to get the wounded back," he heard Jack say.

"Go...go....tend to your wounded. I can send you back."

"You're coming back with us."

Daniel whipped his head around, "No....I'm not going back," he said hysterically. "I've got to stay here. I've got to find Sha're."

"And you know that your only chance of finding her is if you go back," Jack said trying to get through to his friend. 

Daniel felt claustrophobic all of a sudden. He slowly turned around and felt his heart sink as he looked at the damage, the dead bodies, and realized that Jack was right. If he were to find his wife and brother-in-law, he had to go. With his mind made up, he shakingly made his way to the center of the room and called everyone over to him. He felt his heart jump in his throat as he began to tell them that he had to go and to bury the Gate afterwards. He told them as he cried to put a huge cover stone over it like he showed them so that nothing could ever come through it again. 

"But you came through Dan-iel," a boy said sadly. 

Daniel looked at him and wanted nothing more than to wake up from this nightmare. He desperately wanted things to go back to the way they were. He berated himself for even going to the elders when he got Jack's message. He should have ignored it and went about his day. But no, he had to be stupid and let everything bad happen that could possibly happen. As if he was standing beside him, Daniel could hear Ben's painful words. 'It's your fault DJ. It's all your fault.'

"One year," he blurted out. "I'll try to bring Sha're and her brother back in one year. If I don't return," he began to choke out. "If I don't return, you must seal the Gate forever," he said as tears fell unshamelessly. "Tell Sha're's father, one year." He stood and fought to keep standing on his weakening knees as everyone crowded around him and mourned their loss and saying farewell. If took the last of his strength to pull away from them and prepare to go back with Jack. As the Gate opened and everyone began to make their way through, he stopped short of entering and contemplated if he should just wait till they all were through and not go. He turned around and looked at the people that he had come to know as a family behind him. He quickly studied their faces one by one and silently committed them to memory. With one last shuddering breath, he turned away. 'I vowed to protect you Sha're.' he thought. 'And no matter what happens, I will honor that vow until my dieing day.' With that, he stepped through. 

_The End_

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Episode Four:: Belly of the Beast (Coming Soon)

_Disclaimers::_ Stargate Sg-1 and it's characters, backstory, dialog, and images contained within these pages are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I ask that you please respect the legal ownership rights of the companies involved. This story is for entertainment purposes only and absolutely no money was earned nor distributed. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and stories are the property of the author. This story may not be posted else where without the personal written consent/agreement of the author. I ask that you please respect and abide by my wishes.


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